Ten years! 10!!!!!! A decade. Over three THOUSAND days, and more hours than I can count. This past week, November 5th, marked 10 blissfully happy years of marriage to my wonderful B.
It sure doesn't feel like ten years, it feels like FOREVER, but in that good way that one refers to when life before a certain person or event is a fuzzy memory.
Our anniversary was mellow, both of us remarking how similar the weather was ten years ago on our date. Sixties in November is luck ... being able to be on a beach in the sixties in November with bare feet in a wedding dress is a miracle. Together we put together a scallop dinner, and played Scrabble after putting the kids to sleep. No Tv. No music. Just us, scrabble tiles, and candle light. I loved it.
He makes me so happy. He lights up my life. Every day I wake up I feel lucky to have him by my side. Being my biggest support system means more to me than he'll ever know. When he's listening to something that has made me upset, and he feels helpless to do anything about it, the mere act of him listening does wonders for my healing process.
As I type this (on Sunday night, of course!), B is in the process of making me our second Anniversary Celebration dinner, Chicken Piccata, and it smells sooooo good. I truly am lucky to be walking through life with him by my side.
I know it sounds corny and maybe some of you are barfing into trashcans at this point. But how often do we tell the people in our life how much they mean to us? Like how much they realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly mean to us? Anniversaries? Christmastime? Birthdays? Holidays? Or a day on a calendar that tells us we have to? Never?
Why do we get in our own way when it comes to feelings? At what point in life are you told that expressing yourself is bad? At what point do you get scared to tell someone they mean the world to you? Or, at the very least, you're happy they are in your life? I listen to my kids tell it like it is all day long. They still (for now) wear their emotions right on their sleeve, and I'll encourage them to express themselves for as long as I can, leading by example when I can ... learning where I can improve and be more vulnerable when I cannot.
When you're done reading this, (or done cleaning your trashcan), I challenge you to tell someone or call someone and tell them how much they mean to you. Seem daunting? Start smaller... send a thought of thanks to someone in your life. Offer a smile to a stranger, or look the person in the eyes that hands you your coffee and say a genuine thank you. Think of someone in your life that isn't here anymore, and tell the air or think about why you appreciated them in your life when they were here. It's never too late to start appreciating people in your life ... past AND present.
The ones no longer in your life due to grievances that have yet to be forgiven, or a friendship that went sour, think of what that person might have taught you when they were in your life. Maybe soften yourself to the ill feelings you've been holding onto and instead offer acceptance and/or forgiveness to the situation.
Is someone bothering you now? Is there something you're going through with someone and you just don't understand it? Maybe instead of holding onto how negative the current situation is, you can try to see it through a different view. It's hard, trust me, I know. There are situations in my life where I work on forgiveness every day. It's a lifelong process. Think of it like a to-do list... just when you think you're at the end of it, more items are added onto it.
Each moment is new. Each breath allows us to begin again. And in the grand scheme of things, we're here on this earth for such a precious moment, don't you want to spend it being happy and in love than harboring resentment and sending out bad vibes? I know I want to. At least, I want to try.
Who are you going to think about? Who are you going to call? Or text ... or email? I look forward to hearing who was first on your list.
Love, Happiness & Coffee,
~ Heather ~